Welcome to The Groove Tube, a weekly recap of the highlights (and lowlights) of some of the scripted TV shows I'm watching (in order of preference):
Best Punch of the Week: David hit Dr. Whale for sleeping with his wife, Mary Margaret.
Saddest Scene of the Week: Regina had to use magic to vaporize her true love, Daniel, when Dr. Whale brought him back from the dead as a monster.
Best Revelation of the Week: Dr. Whale was finally revealed to be Victor Frankenstein, who wants to return to his world in order to bring his dead brother back to life (at first I thought he might be the Wizard of Oz).
Grade: A+ (I loved this episode, which had so many interesting storylines going on with Dr. Whale, Regina and the sexy Captain Hook, who led Emma and Snow to a beanstalk where they will find an enchanted compass that will help them return to Storybrooke)
Best Return of the Week: Daryl's brother Merle - last seen handcuffed to a pipe on the roof of an Atlanta department store in the third episode of Season 1 - is now living with a prosthetic hand in the town of Woodbury (population: 73).
Best New Character of the Week: 48-year-old David Morrissey as The Governor of Woodbury (I've been a fan of his ever since Blackpool, a delightful 2004 British TV series).
Most Disturbing Deaths of the Week: The Governor and his men killed the National Guardsmen in order to steal their supplies and weapons.
Grade: A (Mr. Morrissey's Governor is an outstanding addition to the show)
Best Supporting Actress of the Week: NeNe Leakes as Bryan's assistant Rocky stole the show.
Hottest Hunk of the Week Runner-Up: Justin Bartha's David in his lime green T-shirt and shorts!
Best Godparents of the Week: David and Bryan chose Shania and Rocky as their baby's godparents.
Best Line Runner-Up: "Oh, it's just an old-timey word David likes to use like "landline" or "Josh Hartnett" - Bryan's response to Shania's question, "What are Polaroids?"
Best Line: "Googling to see how many TV families have tried the same old tired plan that never works... okay, let's see - the Bradys, the Partridges, the Growing Painseses and oh, Saved by the Bell" - Rocky after Bryan suggested they replace Shania’s dead guinea pig Marshmallow with an identical one
Grade: A (I thoroughly enjoyed this episode - even without the amusing Ellen Barkin. Her character Jane's absence allowed Rocky to be featured more)
Best Guest Star of the Week: The hilarious Rachel Dratch as Paula Weingelb, a feminist whom Sheila and many others believe is a witch.
Best Halloween Costume of the Week: Tessa as Daphne from Scooby-Doo, one of my favorite Saturday morning cartoons as a child (it originally aired on CBS from 1969-76).
Best Halloween Costume of the Week Runner-Up: Lisa as Scooby-Doo's Velma.
Best Couple of the Week Runner-Up: George and Dallas finally agreed to go out on a date.
Grade: A (I will feature episodes of this series that I think are especially good - like this one)
Grooviest Retro Song of the Week: "Wishin' and Hopin'", a 1964 hit by Dusty Springfield.
Most Disturbing Death of the Week Runner-Up: Lana's lover Wendy was killed by Bloody Face in her own home.
Toughest Patient of the Week: Poor Lana, who underwent electroshock treatment to erase her memories.
Most Disturbing Exorcism of the Week: The intense exorcism of the possessed 17-year-old boy.
Best New Character of the Week Runner-Up: Zachary Quinto as psychiatrist Oliver Thredson who will determine if Kit is insane or fit to stand trial.
Best Flashback of the Week: We learned that Sister Jude was the town whore when she was younger and that she hit and killed a young girl with her car one night.
Best Euphemism of the Week: "Mossy bank"
Hottest Hunk of the Week: A shirtless Deacon!
Best Couple of the Week: I like Gunnar and Scarlett together - but she's already got a boyfriend.
Best Cliffhanger of the Week: Juliette shoplifted a bottle of nail polish from a store, unaware that a fan was filming her. Uh-oh, she's in trouble!
Least Favorite Character of the Week: Boring businessman Kenny Ryan who offered to help Jack by becoming a partner in the bar. I don't like this storyline at all.
Least Favorite Character of the Week Runners-Up: Aiden and Padma - both of them need to go away ASAP!
Best Actress of the Week: Jennifer Jason Leigh as Kara, whose heartfelt confession to Amanda was one of the best scenes of the episode.
Best Return of the Week Runner-Up: Roger Bart as author Mason Treadwell, who doesn't believe that Amanda is David Clarke's daughter after seeing that she no longer has a scar on her back.
Worst Proposal of the Week: Conrad proposed to Victoria so they wouldn't be able to testify against each other in court.
Grade: B (this episode was a mixed bag of good and bad)
Grade: B (I don't think anyone outside of a sitcom holds an open house on Halloween night - and I like the mock horror movie trailer below more than this episode)