Monday, January 14, 2013
The Golden Globes: Girls Just Want to Have Fun
Thank God for Tina Fey and Amy "None of us has plans to do porn" Poehler, who seemed to be having a ball on last night's 70th Annual Golden Globes. They made me laugh a lot - which was desperately needed during the many incredibly dull acceptance speeches of the evening. There were a few good ones, but overall most of them put me to sleep. However, our brilliantly talented hosts saved the show with their amusing schtick - bring them back next year!
Now here are the winners (my winning predictions are in pink) as well as some of my own personal awards:
Best Fey & Poehler Opening Monologue Joke Honorable Mentions: A tie between “The Hunger Games was one of the biggest films of the year, and also what I call the six weeks it took me to get into this dress" and "Ang Lee’s been nominated for Best Director for Life of Pi, which is what I’m going to call the six weeks after I take this dress off!”
Best Fey & Poehler Opening Monologue Joke Runners-Up: A tie between "Anne Hathaway, you gave a stunning performance in Les Misérables. I have not seen someone so totally alone and abandoned like that since you were on stage with James Franco at the Oscars" and "Kathryn Bigelow’s nominated tonight. I haven’t really been following the controversy over Zero Dark Thirty, but when it comes to torture, I trust the lady who spent three years married to James Cameron" (the audience gasped and laughed at this zinger).
Best Fey & Poehler Opening Monologue Joke: “Meryl Streep is not here tonight. She has the flu — and I hear she’s amazing in it."
Best Actor in a Supporting Role: Christoph Waltz in Django Unchained
Best Actress in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: No-show Maggie Smith in Downton Abbey
Best Mini-Series Or Motion Picture Made for Television: Game Change
Best Fake Nominees of the Night: Poehler's Darcy St. Fudge and Fey's Damian Francisco who were both nominated for their performances in the TV movie, Dog President.
Best Actress In A Mini-series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Julianne Moore in Game Change
Most Surprising Comedian of the Evening: Dr. Aida Takla-O’Reilly, president of the Hollywood Foreign Press Association, who told Bradley Cooper to "Call Me Maybe".
Best Actor in a Drama Series: Damian Lewis in Homeland (his British accent still surprises me).
Best Drama Series: Homeland
Best Original Score: Michael Danna for Life of Pi
Best Speech Runner-Up: An excited Adele, who won Best Original Song for “Skyfall” from Skyfall - and who finally added some much-needed spark to the evening with her brief but funny acceptance speech.
Loser Most in Need of a Lesson in Fake Smiling: Taylor Swift didn't look too happy after losing to Adele - but maybe she did hook up with Michael J. Fox's 23-year-old son later despite Tina Fey's warning.
Best Actor in a Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: Kevin Costner in Hatfields and McCoys
Best Surprise of the Night: "Hillary Clinton's husband" Bill introducing the film, Lincoln.
Funniest Presenters: Will Ferrell and Kristen Wiig were a hoot - maybe they should host next year's awards if Tina and Amy can't.
Most Gorgeous Gal at the Globes: Jennifer Lawrence looked lovely in her orange dress (she won for Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical for her performance in Silver Linings Playbook).
Most Gorgeous Gal at the Globes Runner-Up: Tina Fey was hot in her opening monologue dress.
Best Actor in a Supporting Role in a Series, Mini-Series or Motion Picture Made for Television: No-show Ed Harris in Game Change
Best Actress in a Supporting Role: Anne Hathaway in Les Misérables (I loved her shout-out to fellow nominee Sally Field about The Flying Nun).
Most Unexpected Win Honorable Mention: The star of Tina Fey's sexual nightmares, Quentin Tarantino, won Best Screenplay for Django Unchained.
Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical Series: Don Cheadle in House of Lies
Best Foreign Language Film: Amour
Best Actress in a Drama Series: Claire Danes in Homeland
Snarkiest Presenter: Sacha Baron Cohen quipped "That was money well spent" about Russell Crowe, who had four months of singing lessons in preparation for filming Les Misérables.
Best Animated Feature Film: Brave
Best Actress in a Comedy or Musical Series: Lena Dunham in Girls.
Best Lap of the Evening: Amy Poehler got to sit on George Clooney's - lucky girl!
Best Drunk of the Evening: Glenn Close, who was just pretending.
Best Speech: Jodie Foster, who received the Cecil B. DeMille Award, gave an honest and emotional speech about her long career (she's been acting since she was three!) and her private life. It was her best performance since 1991's The Silence of the Lambs - and her message for her mother (who has dementia) brought a tear to my eye.
Most Unexpected Win Runner-Up: Ben Affleck won Best Director for his film, Argo.
Oddest Thank You of the Evening: Lena Dunham thanked actor Chad Lowe when her series, Girls, won Best Comedy or Musical Series. Apparently she and Lowe are Twitter acquaintances, and she promised him that she would thank him if she ever won an award since his ex-wife Hilary Swank forgot to thank him back in 2000 when she won the Academy Award for Best Actress.
Best Actor in a Comedy or Musical: Hugh Jackman in Les Misérables
Best Motion Picture - Comedy or Musical: Les Misérables
Best Actress in a Drama: Jessica Chastain in Zero Dark Thirty
Best Actor in a Drama: Daniel Day-Lewis in Lincoln
Most Unexpected Win of the Night: Argo for Best Motion Picture - Drama (I'm surprised that it beat Lincoln and Zero Dark Thirty, but I'm thrilled for Ben Affleck).
And that, folks, is my review of the Golden Globes. Now on to the Oscars on February 24!